/MSG MERL NOW!

by **Morfod** » Sun May 10, 2015 3:17 pm

MERL USES THE DOUBLE HOMER HACK.
MERL SUICIDES SO MUCH IN GAME BECAUSE HE'S TOO CHICKENSHIT TO SLIT HIS OWN WRISTS.
MERL ENJOYS HAVING A BAD TIME.
MERL PREFERS THE WARM SIDE OF THE PILLOW.
MERL HANGS THE TOILET PAPER WITH THE LOOSE END GOING UNDER.
MERL ALSO PREFERS SINGLE-PLY.
MERL GETS DRUNK OFF OF LUKEWARM ROOT BEER.
MERL NEVER CLEANS THE GRILL AFTER A COOKOUT.
MERL SQUEEZES FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE TOOTHPASTE CONTAINER.
MERL SPREADS JELLY ON HIS BREAD FIRST, THEN USES THE SAME KNIFE TO SPREAD THE PEANUT BUTTER WITHOUT WASHING IT FIRST.
MERL LEAVES THE TOILET SEAT UP.
MERL THINKS VROODEN IS AN INTELLECTUAL.
MERL ONCE SUICIDED BY ACCIDENT.
MERL ALMOST LOGGED IN TO RETIRE.
MERL DOESN'T CLEAN THE SINK WHEN HE'S DONE SHAVING.
MERL ENJOYS NICKLEBACK.
MERL BUYS ROSEART CRAYONS FOR HIS NIECES AND NEPHEWS.
MERL THINKS AFRICA IS A COUNTRY.
MERL USES A BLACKBERRY.
MERL SHOWERS IN HIS BATHING SUIT.
MERL EATS PIZZA WITH A FORK.
MERL TAKES VACATION PHOTOS WITH AN IPAD.
MERL THINKS MICHAEL JACKSON WAS "MISUNDERSTOOD."
MERL WAS IN A SHAKE IT OFF FAN VIDEO.
MERL CAN ONLY COUNT TO TWENTY WHEN HE LOSES.
MERL KEEPS A COLLECTION OF "HIGHLIGHTS" MAGAZINE.
MERL THINKS THAT OLD MILWAUKEE IS AN OKAY BEER.
MERL STILL WEARS A PPG TAG.
MERL THINKS THAT MINERVA IS A GOOD LEVEL.
MERL PREFERS DESCENT 3.
MERL CHEWS HIS PHLEGM.
MERL CALLS HIS MOTHER COLLECT.
MERL GIVES COUPONS AS GIFTS.
MERL PREFERS DIET DECAFFEINATED PEPSI "FOR THE TASTE."
MERL DOESN'T PAY HIS MORTGAGE UNTIL THE THIRD NOTICE.
MERL STEALS MONEY FROM THE COLLECTION PLATE.
MERL DRIVES A PRIUS.
MERL DOESN'T LIKE ICE CREAM.
MERL PRETENDS TO BE GLUTEN INTOLERANT.
MERL OWNS EXERCISE EQUIPMENT HE DOESN'T USE.
MERL FILES HIS TAXES AT THE LAST MINUTE.
MERL SPRAYS CANS OF COMPRESSED AIR UPSIDE DOWN, JUST FOR GIGGLES.
MERL GIGGLES.
MERL ACTUALLY MORE, LIKE, TITTERS, LIKE A SMELLY OLD AUNT WOULD.
MERL WAS CALM ONCE.
MERL DISLIKES ARNOLD PALMERS BECAUSE "IT'S WAY TOO MUCH BOOZE!"

by **LotharBot** » Sun May 10, 2015 4:03 pm

OMG single-ply! Under! Gross!

by **The@$$Man!** » Sun May 10, 2015 9:57 pm

I have passed this message on to Merl.

by **Mark392** » Mon May 11, 2015 6:39 pm

Merl will pass a kidney stone when he reads all that...

by **Morfod** » Mon May 11, 2015 9:09 pm

MERL HAS A PHOBIA OF PARALLEL PARKING.

by **LotharBot** » Mon May 11, 2015 9:16 pm

MERL JUST PARKS ON THE SIDEWALK

by **Sirius** » Tue May 12, 2015 4:07 am

I never knew I always needed to see this thread.

by **Morfod** » Tue May 12, 2015 3:03 pm

MERL TAKES MORE THAN ONE FREE SAMPLE WHEN VISITING THE SAM'S CLUB FREEZER SECTION.

by **Morfod** » Wed May 13, 2015 10:08 pm

MERL PURCHASES ORGANIC.

by **Morfod** » Thu May 14, 2015 6:33 pm

MERL KISSES HIS MOTHER WITH THAT MOUTH.