Gamers rejoice!
Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2016 8:31 pmHave you heard of the newest gamer's gadget?
It's a band the size of a watch that you wear on your wrist.
You put the band on before gaming, and it is only activated when your heart rate increases and remains high for a certain amount of time.
It keeps tabs on your blood pressure and can sense when it raises to a dangerous level.
It even has a microphone that "listens" for key words.
When increased heart rate, high blood pressure and numerous clever strings of expletives together reach critical mass, the band uses its state of the art Blue Tooth technology to connect with NewEgg.com and automatically order a new gaming mouse for said gamer. For at this point, almost without a doubt (with 92.7% accuracy, after being tested on hundreds of gamers all over the world) said mouse will soon be slammed on the desk at the very least, if not thrown against the wall, and be rendered into a useless piece of detested refuse.
Overnight shipping is of course the only setting available, for anything longer is not only bad for the health & morale of the gamer continuing to use said broken piece of refuse, but it can also be detrimental to any poor soul trying play against said gamer.
Check it out!
It's a band the size of a watch that you wear on your wrist.
You put the band on before gaming, and it is only activated when your heart rate increases and remains high for a certain amount of time.
It keeps tabs on your blood pressure and can sense when it raises to a dangerous level.
It even has a microphone that "listens" for key words.
When increased heart rate, high blood pressure and numerous clever strings of expletives together reach critical mass, the band uses its state of the art Blue Tooth technology to connect with NewEgg.com and automatically order a new gaming mouse for said gamer. For at this point, almost without a doubt (with 92.7% accuracy, after being tested on hundreds of gamers all over the world) said mouse will soon be slammed on the desk at the very least, if not thrown against the wall, and be rendered into a useless piece of detested refuse.
Overnight shipping is of course the only setting available, for anything longer is not only bad for the health & morale of the gamer continuing to use said broken piece of refuse, but it can also be detrimental to any poor soul trying play against said gamer.
Check it out!
