A few words about retirement.

[Ashes]

I kind of dropped off the radar without a word or whimper, and I feel that I should explain why.

Lately, I haven't had any desire to return to the competitive Descent scene. Part of it is because I'm having a weird transitional period in real life. Part of it is because I stopped enjoying competition. But it's not that simple.

The best starting point I can think of is July 2015. The LAN last year was the best vacation I ever took. It stands out as one of my greatest memories with Descent. I was still playing for a while after that, but I started a bit of a decline. For a while there, I was doing mostly pick-up games, but I still had the desire to compete. I didn't really play as much as I wanted to for the next few months, but things were picking up at work, and by November '15, I had no time for Descent.

So the new year rolls around, I have time for games again, and I'm getting back into it the best I can. It's mostly pickup games again, but I'm fine with that. The competition I have with most players on silver level has started to drain me at this point. I don't feel anything special about it. Most of the people I enjoyed playing Descent with have sort of... left. Tomato has a life, Jinx died, I can never get online at the same time as anyone else I really like, but half of the fun is meeting new players, right? I was still trying to play.

I think the point where it stopped being fun was that trophy match with Roncli. We had a thrilling, close match, and then right when the game went to overtime... the channel got raided. That game should have ended with either one of us winning out of skill & determination, or even a couple lucky shots. Instead, we had an verbal intruder to our duel. So I lost focus, I lost the game, I lost any desire to compete again. My victory in that game was far from secure, and Ron could have easily won that game at that point, but what bugs me most is that we have no way of knowing what should have happened. That's the point where I can distinctly say, "This is not fun anymore." The adrenaline dump I got from not only losing a game, but a trophy that I consider a point of pride for such a stupid reason was what made me stop playing.

I'm not sure when I'll be back. The itch for Descent strikes me occasionally, and the memories I have of the game and people I've met through it are rewarding enough to keep it in my mind. And the game itself is like riding a bike, you never forget how to do it. So keep flying, I'll catch up again sometime. I always do.

[melvin]

Take care Ashes, stop in any time.

[Mark392]

My friend! Be good, refresh yourself, take the time you need, don't be a stranger--come holler at us! When you come back to play we will be here with open arms! Though, I've already been missing our games, and I'll miss them while you're gone! Shoot me a message if you want my # and when you have time we can fly around for fun if I'm around!

[roncli]

Oh I remember that game, it affected me a bit, too. I had a lead in OT and was busy trying to tell MD to leave and got clocked by a string of plasma. It was such a fun game.

I've always been awaiting what I figured was the inevitable rematch, but it never came. I can understand why, but hope you do return soon.

[bahamut]