My apologies.
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2016 6:04 pmGuys,
I'm pretty embarrassed about the happenings with Vaniac - I'm especially embarrassed to have acted like that in front of and towards Vaniac. He's consistently a good sport - all he wants to do is get better. He would have won that match unless I completely stopped the flow of the game and played extremely slow (which is not fun, but have had to do from time to time). I took offense (in my horribly incorrect thought process) that he had made me do something I simply didn't think was fun, by playing savage.
When I get online to play descent it's always been horribly selfish of me to maintain a level of fun only for myself. I have much less time on my hands, and much more stress than I've had to do deal with in the past few years. I think this encourages my horrible attitude about level selection - I just simply don't have the time to allocate to get good at more levels. For some reason, it took me months to even be okay to play mindtrix to the level I know I'm capable of playing at or at least what I find acceptable to myself.
I really am disgusted with how I acted, and I think it had a lot to do with disgust I felt in the way I was playing - I had no idea what I was doing. I had no strategy. It takes me a very long time to get comfortable in certain levels (and I have much more pressure than I did when I first started playing).
The competitive environment of the DCL is so overwhelming when you know you are trying to get to another level and you feel as though the walls are closing in on you (Vaniac, Deimos, and others). You feel like you have to make gains that no one else is doing. The speed at which I picked up this game just as quickly plateaued.
Again, I suck at building a heartfelt wall of text, I just don't want to go radio silent on everyone without at least apologizing to Vaniac. He really doesn't deserve it.
Vaniac, I am truly sorry. You must feel like you played a video game with an absolute bipolar, psychotic, neck beard. All of those I am not. I think I just took all my stresses in life out on myself and you were present. I deeply apologize. You do not deserve that type of competition. You are an honorable opponent.
I am choosing not to play Descent for sometime. I have a lot of stuff in life that I need to tend to. I really need to stop playing Descent. I have no idea how I would deal with expecting even more from myself in the future if I did raise my level of skill.
I'm pretty embarrassed about the happenings with Vaniac - I'm especially embarrassed to have acted like that in front of and towards Vaniac. He's consistently a good sport - all he wants to do is get better. He would have won that match unless I completely stopped the flow of the game and played extremely slow (which is not fun, but have had to do from time to time). I took offense (in my horribly incorrect thought process) that he had made me do something I simply didn't think was fun, by playing savage.
When I get online to play descent it's always been horribly selfish of me to maintain a level of fun only for myself. I have much less time on my hands, and much more stress than I've had to do deal with in the past few years. I think this encourages my horrible attitude about level selection - I just simply don't have the time to allocate to get good at more levels. For some reason, it took me months to even be okay to play mindtrix to the level I know I'm capable of playing at or at least what I find acceptable to myself.
I really am disgusted with how I acted, and I think it had a lot to do with disgust I felt in the way I was playing - I had no idea what I was doing. I had no strategy. It takes me a very long time to get comfortable in certain levels (and I have much more pressure than I did when I first started playing).
The competitive environment of the DCL is so overwhelming when you know you are trying to get to another level and you feel as though the walls are closing in on you (Vaniac, Deimos, and others). You feel like you have to make gains that no one else is doing. The speed at which I picked up this game just as quickly plateaued.
Again, I suck at building a heartfelt wall of text, I just don't want to go radio silent on everyone without at least apologizing to Vaniac. He really doesn't deserve it.
Vaniac, I am truly sorry. You must feel like you played a video game with an absolute bipolar, psychotic, neck beard. All of those I am not. I think I just took all my stresses in life out on myself and you were present. I deeply apologize. You do not deserve that type of competition. You are an honorable opponent.
I am choosing not to play Descent for sometime. I have a lot of stuff in life that I need to tend to. I really need to stop playing Descent. I have no idea how I would deal with expecting even more from myself in the future if I did raise my level of skill.
