The Ballad of (Who the F) is Cyrus Maleski

[melvin]

A tale of tragedy and (of course) Loss

obviously to the tune of Call Me Maybe by Nobel Prize winner Carly Rae Jepsen, duh!:



I threw a shot down the hall
the sparks were blinding us all
it did no damage at all
because there's all your lag

I'd trade my soul for some hits
playing with you is the pits
your connection does play like shit
because there's all your lag

your ping was holding
you suck
and you're grody
big fight
you wont explode-y
where my packets going, baby?

hey, i just hit you
and this is crazy
but you're real lossy
and don't take damage
it takes a lot of poise
to not go chasing
your blinky hitbox
that takes hits maybe

I watch you fly in the way
of all the shots that i spray
i see all these hits get displayed
but still there's all your lag

i'd beg and borrow and steal
so i would not have to deal
with all this wireless spiel
because there's all your lag

your ping was holding
you suck
and you're grody
big fight
you wont explode-y
where my packets going, baby?

hey, i just hit you
and this is crazy
but you're real lossy
and don't take damage
it takes a lot of poise
to not go chasing
your blinky hitbox
that takes hits maybe

Once you turn on the wifi,
I miss you so bad
It makes me so mad
connection's so so sad
Once you turn on the wifi
your loss gets so bad
and you should know that
you play so bad bad bad

it's hard to make yourrrr pyro flame-y
you're awful lossy
and take hits maybe

Once you turn on the wifi,
I miss you so bad
It makes me so mad
connection's so so sad
Once you turn on the wifi
your loss gets so bad
and you should know that
and take hits maybe

[Mark392]

I don't... I... uhh... I sang the whole thing. Start to finish. Jepsen has a great voice.

This is a masterpiece.

[Swarthy]

Melvin...This is PURE genius! The love and hate it took to write this was clearly palpable to you...not only that but now we all have that call me maybe song stuck in our head for days. I'm sure Jedi will be singing this all week.

[Jediluke]

*SINGING*

[Ryguy]

Superb. Now all we need is someone to make a music video.

[birdseye]

Wish I had caught wind of this during the telecast, I would have included some references to this lovely material. Nice job!

[Sirius]

I actually don't know enough of the song to follow.

Debating whether to keep it that way.

[melvin]

it's a modern classic, sirius, you're missing out!

[Wats]

I will never be able to hear this song again without thinking these lyrics. Thanks, Mel!

[birdseye]