I realized something during this game that I kinda knew, but didn't really accept; I'm a competitive bastard. Maybe not to the level of Jedi.. but, pretty damn close. I, like many others, when put to the test, when I'm at the limits to what I do as a pilot, I'm expecting to win. It makes it much more difficult to swallow when you're SO close to winning, and you let your emotions contribute to the outcome of a match.

Jedi won this not just because I started to lose my cool, but also because he stayed focused. His complaints and rough attitude is simply a release of his frustration during a match and is a key point to his success at times. He doesn't keep it bottled up inside like I do. The main difference between him and I is that he's more vocal, while I tend to keep things contained. I was able to ignore the usual banter. However, the suicides threw me through a loop (as they have in the past). It's something, now that I can analyze it better, that I'll work on if in a similar circumstance.

I'll end with this: playing Jediluke is different than playing anyone else. I'll give you an example. The last game I played Bahamut was quite laggy. I won, but told Baha that he didn't have to report it if he didn't want to. Pretty good sportsmanship, I suppose. If that game was again Jedi, I think my response would have been a little bit different. Something like, "F*ck you. Report it.". Well, maybe not that harsh, but you get my drift. Our games are so taxing compared to all other games. Playing others generally feels more casual. Like a pick-up game. Playing Jedi feels like game 7 of the World Series. Almost like it's a must win situation. I doubt that will ever change.

You're awesome, bud. I do and don't look forward to the next one.

"The Comeback"

I have played Djcjr only twice in the history of the DCL. The first match was a really difficult loss for me in a massive overtime match. 28-30.

This time around it ended up in yet another overtime match in Athena but it was my turn to win 23-21.

I must admit, I didn't expect Djcjr to put up this much of a fight. I thought he would be a little rusty by comparison. I was wrong. This guy was thoroughly embarrassing me. At one point he was up 16-9 on me. That's a 7 kill lead against me. How does anyone overcome that!? He's 4 kills from winning this game and publicly humiliating me and yet we are only 32% done with the game by this point. That seems hard to imagine.

At 17-11 he's 3 kills from winning and we're 45% done. At 17-12 I get a lucky smart missile kill on him and he immediately goes for his spew after respawning and I get another quick kill to bring it to a less embarrassing 17-14.

Dj takes a Warlord timeout and then goes up 18-14. He's a mere 2 kills from winning and we're now 50% done according to the demo. At 18-15 I set him up with what looked like was going to be a beautiful sure kill but at the last second he chooses to turn...not knowing he was about to die with my trap and thus completely avoids it. UGH!

Now he's up 19-15 and we're 54% done. He wins a confrontation and I go from 100 shields to 38 instantly so I quickly decide to suicide. Now we're 19-14 and I then get a direct smart missile kill on him. 19-15 again and this time I'm a little over 100 shields. I'm flying around looking for him and I can't seem to find him. I come out of the door under the grate hall way and I start to decide to slide up in to the upper corner of the dog room but my Jedi senses start tingling and I change my mind last second about doing that and low and behold Dj slides down from that spot and knocks me down to 64 shields. He would have gotten the winning kill had I slid up to that spot. As I'm running away from this confrontation a reactor blob hits me and now I'm at 45 shields grrrr! We then run into each other in the dog room and a homer of his hits me knocking me down to only 6 shields!! So......suicide. 19-15.

I'm flying full speed down the grate hall way about to turn right towards the reactor but we ended up meeting at that corner unexpectedly. I fired my single smart I had but it missed him. He's shooting vulcan but is missing as this was such a sudden encounter. I get off one homer as he was escaping...and several moments later he died! OMG, so close to losing in that moment.

19-16 he's up and I have 56 shields. He gets me down to 36 shields and I get uncomfortable so.....suicide #3. I get my own shield orb to get to 105 shields. I almost take a direct smart to the face fired from far away which would have ended the game but I was lucky it barely missed.

I'm at 80 shields and he surprises me in the tiny little room near the reactor and brings me down to 40 shields and I'm in a bad spot so I decide to immediately suicide just in case so we're 19 - 14.

I then get a long distance kill on him and we're back at 19-15 and I have 74 shields. I'm flying backwards immediately after this kill and unfortunately end up bumping right in to him...here it is...I'm going to die. He takes me from 74 shields to 35 but I manage to get my smart off and hit him directly and I get the kill. I collect 2 shield orbs and I'm at 47 now. Yet again, another close encounter and I go down from 47 to 40 shields but he goes from 100 to 0 and I get the kill! 19-17. Then I throw several homers and primaries towards the middle door in the dog room and luckily Dj opens that door right as this barrage is arriving and he eats it all. 19-18 he's up by 1 and still 1 kill from winning but my confidence is growing. I have 48 shields to work with. His homers take me down to 20 so.....suicide. 19-17 (77% done) He takes me down to 66 shields then 39. Instead of suiciding I decide to fight with my new found confidence. I end up in a good position on him and I get the kill. 19-18 44 shields. A smart blob floater hits me and I'm down to 8 shields...so...suicide 19-17 yet again.

He slowly works me down to 60 shields then 31...suicide again. 19-16 (83% done). I almost eat another direct smart and on the 2nd encounter with him I get the kill. 19-17 and I'm over 100 shields. He takes another Warlord moment before respawning. I get the next kill and my shields are at a healthy 94 at 19-18 Dj's lead. He gets me in another bad position and I make an instant decision to double back and I know my death is likely in this very moment but I managed to get behind him as he came in for the kill and I deal him some damage but he survives. Next encounter I kill him with a small dose of vulcan.

19-19 and I'm at 100 shields! I want this win and I can taste it! I go up 20-19 for my first lead in forever and Djcjr vents some frustration (a truly rare occurrence). He says something like "Maybe you won't suicide this time!" I say, "I want this bad!" He says, "Then you can f'n take it!"

Now, Dj being Dj he doesn't let me have it...I have to take it. He gets me down to 10 shields so...of course I then decide NOT to suicide and I keep fighting after all...I'm 1 luck kill from winning. I hit him and he hit me and I'm now at 1 shield. We end up surprise bumping in to each other and we BOTH die!!

20-19 I'm in the lead and we both have 100 shields. He gets in behind me and takes me from 100 to dead in a heart beat and now it's 20-20. He works me down to 36 so I go to stupidly suicide by reactor and it hits me once and then dawns on me that if I do this he'll be 1 kill from winning again. GRR!!! Stupid Jedi! I now have 22 shields to work with but I end up getting the kill!! 21-20 and I have 22 shields. He gets the next kill 21-21 and then I get the next one to go up 22-21 and I have 89 shields. He gets me down to 45 but I get him with one final barrage and get the winning kill for the greatest come from behind in the history of my Descent career!