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# 2Jediluke21 19DKH# 6
1 suicide
"u have no idea the immense effort it took to bite my tongue as much as i did bite it. i have a demo that shows why i didn't enjoy this experience. despite the win." "Empty your mind, and win! GG"
War Journal Entry
Breaking News:

This just in...

Jedi just played a game in which there were 183 instances of pure lagalicious bogusness and he only called out like 4. That IS news and that IS progress!
https://www.dropbox.com/s/w7td871r4e4zhx5/jedi_dkh_dcl_lag_42115.dem?dl=0 - OBSOLEET
yeah, two things I didn't notice in the demo: 1) atypical lag, 2) atypical tongue-biting. Looked like a great game that you had to really work for. If the connect seemed unusual for you and DKH it could be due to it being hosted at 15pps,but it definitely didn't look like the alleged ~160ms. Some really sharp play from both of you, though. Thanks for the demo. - deimos
For Jeds, that was atypical tongue biting. It's a work in progress. - LotharBot
I also saw a lot of really good dodging by both pilots. It's tempting to blame the lag when someone is a split second ahead of / between your shots. But on the demo it mostly looked like really good dodging. - LotharBot
Also, blue ship, hosting at 15 pps will add about 40 ms of ping. Try hosting at 30 pps and see if that helps. - LotharBot
GJ jedi, I said it once! - heating
hmm 15? I forgot I had switched it to that for someone that is over seas. Our pings are usually around 80...this game it was 167 on average. So, TWICE as bad as usual. There were plenty of encounters that should have resulted in either my death or his but yet did not due to the lag. It was a terrible connection for the both of us and sucked any enjoyment right out of the game. - OBSOLEET
I get that the score implies a great game and I should be happy to have succeeded at such a difficult comeback despite the challenges...but what I wanted was to enjoy the game and the connection ruined that for me. - OBSOLEET
Deimos: it's not alleged 160ms when both pilots can see the pings and confirm them. His connection was having issues and it carried on into his next game with Bahamut. Ask the other party involved in this game. And Deimos, I bit my tongue a shit load in that game. - OBSOLEET
May have been lossy but the lead time was not characteristic of 160ms even if that's what Descent was reporting. I have seen that kind of discrepancy before and I suspect D of misreporting. I didn't mean "alleged" in an offensive way, but maybe it was a poor choice of word. As far as biting one's tongue: do you give your kids credit for only throwing *little* tantrums? You can talk address connection issues--especially genuine anomalies like this--without the drama. - deimos
If you don't request or make an attempt to resolve an issue with lag, there's no way to justify complaining about it. If you want to play through it, there's no stopping you, of course. But, do it without the vinegar. - Djcjr
Patting yourself on the back while still continuing to do what you claim you are working on seems counter-productive.. - moh
Hey guys! There's a new Dr. Seuss book coming out!!!! Aren't you all jacked?!?!?! I know I am!!!! WOOTSALADANDHAM!!! - Mark392
OK, let me make sure I've got this right. I'm a childish whiner that spews vinegar and then congratulates himself for bitching less than normal. My initial reaction, when I read this earlier today, was anger and a strong desire to uninstall the game and walk away. Of course, those feelings are something I feel every time I play a game with lag/loss. Let me begin by saying, I don't disagree with any of you. I like myself even less than you all like me when it comes to this particular aspect of my personality. I have struggled with this my entire Descent career. I have put forth a lot of effort in trying to curb this overly competitive assholiness and have tried many different things. I have always failed. I know but one answer to this problem, it is something I TRY to do fairly often. Quit. Walk away. Don't come back. Delete the game. - OBSOLEET
Each time I feel that I have gotten too angry and said things I regret in a game I punish myself by rank dropping or retiring from the ladder. I'm inevitably drawn back in like the addict that I am. I'm happy that you all find it easy to be a great sport even in the face of lag/loss and congratulate your opponent for beating you. You are all very fortunate to have that temperate personality and it's something I would also love to be able to display at all times. But before you guys decide to continue to attempt to publicly shame me and belittle me for how I am let me simply point out that you can't possibly understand why I am the way that I am. You are not me. You have not walked in my shoes. You do not know what I feel. Do not get me wrong, those are not excuses but simply facts. I'm sure you desire to affect a positive change in me. The only one who can fix me is me and I have failed despite repeated attempts for years. Am I giving up? No. Do I think I'll succeed? - OBSOLEET
Not really but I hope I do. In the meantime keep in mind that you do not have to play me if you find the experience to be too unpalatable. I do not desire to offend anyone. I try really hard to hide my frustration and bite my tongue. I really do. I have failed. I will fail again more than likely. I'm not proud of that in the least. What y'all have said has hurt me quite a bit. Of course, it only hurts because it's true. - OBSOLEET
As I said before, it's a work in progress. I don't think we need to pile on any more than has already been done. - LotharBot
No. I would never assume to have walked in anyone's shoes, The only real comparison I have to empathize with this type of situation is that I grew up next door to ULTRA competitive family. The type that got in fist fights over whiffleball, tag football, basketball, bowling, video games, etc, etc.. I'm familiar with what it's like to see someone lose themselves because they can't come to gribs with the idea of losing, well, anything. - Djcjr
My comment was suppose to be more conscientious advice, than a slap on the hand. If a situation that's controllable is frustrating to you, look to resolve it before losing your temper. - Djcjr
I love you no matter what, David! - Mark392
Djcjr, apparently we lived next to you. - OBSOLEET
You guys enjoy Descent for what it is, a game. I both love it and hate it with intensity. - OBSOLEET
I get it, Jeds. I said what I did because I like you and we're a pretty tight group. If that weren't true, you'd just be another anonymous ass who isn't worth calling out. But you're a pillar in this community, one of the kings. But you mistreat your friends, and friends don't let friends get away with being shitty. So, yeah, I didn't mean to spark a shamefest, only to call you out like my brother would hopefully call me out. I don't want to see you leave, I want to see your affection for this community become a forcefield over your f8 key, and a 5 minute breather before your match comments. - deimos
Wow, I just noticed these comments! Honestly.. this is healthy. Like what has been said before... this is a tight community and we are brothers and sisters. Much love to all! - DKH
This is not some great secret that just got exposed and now that Jedi's ways have been brought to light...he'll be inspired to change. - OBSOLEET
wishing for that doesn't make it reality - OBSOLEET
I'm open to the idea of the community helping, I'm just a glass half empty kinda guy at this point. - OBSOLEET
If you think of Jeds as your brother who you need to call out, then be enough of a brother to understand where he's come from first. Recognize the amount of progress he made -- he complained some, but then he shut up and finished the match, and never once threatened to quit or made any bogus accusations of hax, and that's miles better than where he was just a little while ago. Yeah, he's got a lot of room for improvement, but when a guy goes from losing 20-1 to losing 20-5 you don't start out by criticizing him for not being gold yet. You recognize the step he's made first, and suggest the next thing to work on second. Same with your child who learns to get over his trantrums faster, or your student who went from being disruptive all the time to only rarely being disruptive -- recognize progress first, create a plan to move forward second. (In education terms: Functional Behavior Analysis first, Positive Behavioral Support second, shame never.) - LotharBot
Jeds, you have come an incredibly long way over the last couple years, and I've been proud to watch it happen, and give what small helps I could. When I first came back to the game, you were constantly saying stuff to other pilots that made me flinch, and it wasn't even directed at me! And a year ago, you still occasionally said things that genuinely hurt people. But now? You're down to complaining about the connection, expressing frustration we all feel, and it's pretty much never an actual problem? That's progress, my friend, and a lot of it. Given the history? You're right to be proud of how well you did this time. Don't beat yourself up over not being all the way there yet. - Drakona
Tom tells me the gold standard in sportsmanship is to never complain about anything, ever. I'm convinced he's right, and have chosen that path for myself. Yours may be different. I'd be lying if I said I wanted to stop hearing you call BS in our games. It makes me laugh, and there's a realness and intensity to how you interact with the game that I'd miss if you lost it. You think it makes you an asshole, but really, it gives voice to what we all feel, and I think I'm not the only one who loves the sheer genuineness of it. I don't know where you'll end up, exactly, I don't think you'll turn into Mark, and I think on some level it'd be a loss if you did. But I think you're in a very good place compared to where you were a year or two ago, and I think you're close to finding your own way. - Drakona
I'll get serious for a second here. David, my friend. My brother. I've witnessed the progress, and I've witnessed your self-loathe. What kills me inside now isn't so much how you treat others (You've come a LONG way, I'll personally vouch for that, you still have work to do--but so do I) but what makes me truly feel pain is how you appear to look and feel toward yourself. I know you know we all care and love you. I also know that everyone in this thread has taken the approach they have in a way to show that. What I am doing now, is just saying; you're valuable--innumerably so--not because of a game, growing, any of that. Because of you. Worth man, it's there. You know me, you know where I'm coming from, and I want you to see it too, my friend. I AM very encouraged to see so many of my brothers and sisters rally around my brother right now, that is love, that is care, and THAT should demonstrate value to you, my friend. The last thing for all of us to remember is that value will never - Mark392
be found by winning, losing, winning gracefully, losing with style, dominating ANYTHING. All these things can only present a temporary high of feeling that value. But, man. It's already there, David, you're valuable. You're valuable Deimos. You're valuable Drakona. You're valuable Lothar. You're valuable Bahamut. You're valuable Djcjr. You're valuable DKH. You're valuable--everyone. My family, you're all valuable. Period. Love you all. - Mark392